Nigger

For 2 years I was his friend
He was mine
We talked of pain and happiness
I knew his mom's name, and the way his brother died
He knew that I was invited to a
Birthday party just to be pissed upon
He knew I had OD'd when I was in high school
I knew that I was his first white friend
One day I asked why his friends called him
"nigger"
But I could not?
He said... You "can" call me "nigger."
But it will change everything
I called him "nigger"
And I loved him, but I didn't understand.
And neither did he.

I miss him.