Six

I tried to recall my first thought. The first moment I was aware. I couldn't. I have memories from my youth... But have no idea what my earliest memory is.

I have a vision of standing on a sidewalk. The sun is bright and the sky is unbelievably blue. I feel like I'm six, but I'm not sure.

I feel different from others. Even in this fractured memory, I feel alone. But I'm not sad. No, the sun is on my face, and my feet are wrapped in red cowboy boots. There is white stitching on the boots and that fact makes it seem impossible to be sad.

It's coming back to me, either that, or my mind is pulling memories from other sources... I don't care. I like what I see. I like the fringed suede jacket that I'm wearing (it must be fake suede, but I don't care). I like the hair that brushes my eyes as the wind plays with it.

But most of all I like knowing, that I am the center... I am the ruler of my world... the pain and doubt don't exist in this moment as they did two steps ago. They will return many times, but HERE and NOW on my chunk of sidewalk, I am happy.